Amarillo, Texas.

When Grace’s friends and family found out that we were going to Texas, they all seemed to be incredulous.

“Texas?! Why on earth do you want to go to Texas?” (I’ve paraphrased the actual words used to make it more polite)

Well, I say to them… If we hadn’t gone to Texas, we wouldn’t have come across such cultural gems as this suspiciously modern ‘haunted house’…

…Or the myriad of antique shops – where in one of which I purchased an undoubtedly racist cast-iron whale bottle opener that resembled the golliwogs of old….

Or the Cowboy Gelato, where we had Mexican Vanilla and Raspberry Chipotle ice-cream… (apparently there’s a difference between gelato and ice-cream, but I’m not convinced. I think it’s a marketing gimmick to appeal to the Americans… It’s all ice-cream to us in Scotland in any regard. Can you imagine going up to an ice-cream van in Barrhead and asking for a ‘gelato’? Naw.)

The drinking establishments would also have been missed, such as this fine public house named ‘Buckles’… where I may have come out alive, but perhaps would have been forced to leave Grace behind…

and who could forget the taxis with bull horns on them?

Yes, Amarillo was quite the place. People even beeped their car horns at us as we walked down the street. At first I thought it was just the usual response of mindless male drivers in response to a pretty girl – especially as Grace was looking particularly movie-star like – but it transpired that both genders took part in this bizarre practice, and there were too many for it to just be vehicular cat calling.

Did they know we were from out of town? Were we displaying some sort of foreign behaviour? Is this just what people in Amarillo do? If you have the answers, please do let me know.

You can just about make out the wording on the sign declaring FREE 72Oz. STEAK that reads something along the lines of (when consumed under 1 hour).

Those sneaky Yanks – Never letting the truth get in the way of some good marketing.

Presumably these over-sized chairs are required for people who finish more than one 72Oz. steak.

‘She looks real happy about the size of that steak for a vegetarian’

This place below is essentially a warehouse the size of an average Toys ‘R’ Us filled with every type of Western paraphernalia you can think of – from genuine brightly coloured cowboy boots to stetson hats. Everything was over the top; everybody inside was deadly serious; and everything was far from cheap. It made me wish I could pull off the look, but it was clear that it wasn’t our sort of place. Having said that, I’m sure Grace would make a good cowgirl.

I’m not even a big fan of steak, so this was as close as I was getting to 72Oz. of the stuff.

There’s a strange quirk of happenstance that means that despite the relative youth of the United States of America as we know it, old things seem to be fairly readily available – at least, modern old things. Whether it’s because there’s an abundance of land to allow old crap to build up on, or for other reasons, it means you find all sorts of extremely cool looking vehicles around the place. Whilst they do remind me of Jeepers Creepers, there’s something quite charming about them, don’t ya think?

Aye, Amarillo was worth it.

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