order from noise

It’s been a while since I updated, as I’d warned may be the case.

I got the new motherboard for my beloved Macbook today, and despite having four empty holes for screws to go in, and two screws left that fit none of them, it seems to have gone okay. Even the glue I had to use to hold the fan connection together seems to have been effective enough. I had planned on taking some photos during the process and posting them up, but realised how deathly boring that would have been, so you’re stuck with a text post instead. People will skip it as a result of course, but that’s probably better given the content anyway.

It’s easy to lose passion when you have to balance many responsibilities at once. You just end up living to fulfil a set of circumstances. Work to pay for things; uni to get a degree; social associations to perpetuate them. Teenage angst isn’t worth anything less; it’s just because those are the people who don’t have to see through the myriad of responsibilities lying ontop of them, and so can formulate things ideologically rather than practically… and that’s not a criticism by any means.

The past while has been pretty disconcerting, and shaken my own sense of who I am a fair bit. I’m meant to go back to work on Saturday, but not entirely sure that I’m completely ready to be honest. I feel a lot less better than I did a few weeks ago, but I keep waiting for some sort of cathartic moment that will give me some sort of grasp of my own identity again, rather than just going with the motions. Too many things are changing and I’ve not quite got a handle on them completely.

I’m usually against posting such personal things, as it can so easily count against you in the future, and sound so twee, but it’s occupied so much of my mental space lately that it’s impossible not to.

Here’s to the state of transition. May it not last very long, and let’s hope I’m more the wiser when I exit it than when I entered.

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